beatitude Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Well, reading these posts, I'm wondering if the same logic applies to other types of sin, or only to sexual sin. Is a woman who got angry and screamed at her parents disqualified from consideration? She might have said sorry, but that could have just been some cynical conniving move so she could continue to live rent-free or something... People obsess about sexual sin in a way that they don't obsess about other sins, and obsession isn't good. it's absolutely not the same as wanting to lead a chaste life. In fact, someone who is so preoccupied with physical virginity that he would dismiss a rape victim as a potential wife is not someone I would consider to be truly chaste. As a woman in formation with a secular institute (one day to make a vow of chastity, God willing) I have been taught by women experienced in this life that genuine chastity goes hand in hand with generosity of spirit and self-giving. You can't have one without the other. There's nothing generous about such judgmental speech and behaviour. And yes, I'm a virgin, but not because I can 'hack it' where others can't. I don't feel that my virginity is some great achievement for me to boast about. I have had other weaknesses in my life. I find it very difficult to be patient with people who annoy me, for example, and my biggest struggle is keeping my temper in check. Other people find this easy and never have any temptation to snap at others, but they might experience temptations to unchaste behaviour more regularly than I do. We're all different and I am not prepared to set myself up as somehow better or holier than anyone else because of their sexual history. Only God looks at the heart. I am not planning to be married, obviously, but if I were then I would look for a partner who also tried to look at the heart - or at least considered it more important than the hymen. I don't want my worth as a person reduced to that and any man who focused on it so much would seem too sex-obsessed for me to want to date him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Well, the truth finally comes out. Are you that threatened by Polskieserce because you couldn't "hack it" but he can? Oh Em Gee. Chastity is about growing in holiness, it's not a contest to see who can hold their breath the longest. Again, as someone who was in the target demo of "young practicing Catholic virgin with a vocation to marriage" let me assure you this attitude is repellant to women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Oh Em Gee. Chastity is about growing in holiness, it's not a contest to see who can hold their breath the longest. Whole different sin, that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I give you: St. Augustine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Hey Norseman, I'm sorry you got dumped even though you managed to keep your hands to yourself when you were dating. Stop taking it out on everyone else. KTHX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tufsoles Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 FCC, I give you props. and I want to thank St. Monica, his mother for praying for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrideofChrist Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 From my perspective as a virgin, I would never have considered going out on a date with you with your entitlement attitude when I was discerning marriage. You don't "deserve" a virgin to be your spouse- nor does anyone. Instead, we should be glad to offer ourselves as self gifts. Yes, rape or voluntary intercourse do bring more baggage and risk of a certain kind to the table, but so do a bunch of other traits and sins. I would feel used, like an object if I knew virginity was more important than ME as a person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrideofChrist Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 So what you're telling me is that some people have higher standards for marriage than God Himself. God's standard for marriage is two free and capable persons. Virginity is not a requirement. God's standard for religious life is a free and capable person. God's standard for espousals with Christ in sacred virginity is virginity. Yes, that standard is high but it is due to the nature of that marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I hope I'm not breaking any rule by posting this but the same thread was created on the catholic answers forum - http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=807112&highlight=virgin+to+marry Interesting... well, it's not suprising, to be honest. not a lot of Catholic online places where someone who has an ideal is looking for feedback on finding girls that fit that ideal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Well, reading these posts, I'm wondering if the same logic applies to other types of sin, or only to sexual sin. Is a woman who got angry and screamed at her parents disqualified from consideration? She might have said sorry, but that could have just been some cynical conniving move so she could continue to live rent-free or something... People obsess about sexual sin in a way that they don't obsess about other sins, and obsession isn't good. it's absolutely not the same as wanting to lead a chaste life. In fact, someone who is so preoccupied with physical virginity that he would dismiss a rape victim as a potential wife is not someone I would consider to be truly chaste. As a woman in formation with a secular institute (one day to make a vow of chastity, God willing) I have been taught by women experienced in this life that genuine chastity goes hand in hand with generosity of spirit and self-giving. You can't have one without the other. There's nothing generous about such judgmental speech and behaviour. And yes, I'm a virgin, but not because I can 'hack it' where others can't. I don't feel that my virginity is some great achievement for me to boast about. I have had other weaknesses in my life. I find it very difficult to be patient with people who annoy me, for example, and my biggest struggle is keeping my temper in check. Other people find this easy and never have any temptation to snap at others, but they might experience temptations to unchaste behaviour more regularly than I do. We're all different and I am not prepared to set myself up as somehow better or holier than anyone else because of their sexual history. Only God looks at the heart. I am not planning to be married, obviously, but if I were then I would look for a partner who also tried to look at the heart - or at least considered it more important than the hymen. I don't want my worth as a person reduced to that and any man who focused on it so much would seem too sex-obsessed for me to want to date him. Oh Em Gee. Chastity is about growing in holiness, it's not a contest to see who can hold their breath the longest. Again, as someone who was in the target demo of "young practicing Catholic virgin with a vocation to marriage" let me assure you this attitude is repellant to women. Great posts, ladies. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 I give you: St. Augustine. St. Margaret of Cortuna St. Mary of Egypt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 (edited) It doesn't just have to be having sex before marriage, which Havok has quite obviously repented of and married the woman he loves. Do you honestly think that jumping all over Polskieserce and telling people who are making the effort to do things the right way not to worry about sex after he had his fun is repentant? Edited July 22, 2013 by Norseman82 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Chastity is about growing in holiness, it's not a contest to see who can hold their breath the longest. Again, as someone who was in the target demo of "young practicing Catholic virgin with a vocation to marriage" let me assure you this attitude is repellant to women. It is for males. If you want males to understand the female side of things, females need to understand the male side of thngs. Failure to do so is repellant to men. Works both ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 (edited) Do you honestly think that jumping all over Polskieserce and telling people who are making the effort to do things the right way not to worry about sex after he had his fun is repentant? I think you misunderstood the post. Works both ways. rotfl Edited July 22, 2013 by CatholicsAreKewl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Do you honestly think that jumping all over Polskieserce and telling people who are making the effort to do things the right way not to worry about sex after he had his fun is repentant? Really man? REALLY? So, repentance doesn't count if you enjoyed yourself when you committed a sin? Well, let's all be on our marry way to hell then, arm in arm. This idea is genuinely disgusting. Please give it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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