Norseman82 Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote name='CatholicAndFanatical' date='May 18 2005, 11:50 AM'] When you are dating someone, its a step to a relationship that should last a while before marriage even gets brought into it. While dating, they shouldnt even be thinking of being a step mom to my kids. Why would I want my kids exposed to someone im dating? What if they like the person and I dont? What if we break up and the kids miss her then I date someone else? See the confusion, so they are not even exposed to anything of the sort. Not from my side nor the mothers side. Its funny how a woman can say how shallow men are for running away when a woman say's she has kids or a kid, and thats fine, but when a man says it its crazy talk. If you found a woman that you really liked, but you found out she has kids, would you still date her? Or would you consider her to have 'baggage'? [/quote] Kids are part of the "package deal", so to speak, so if there is stress between kids and someone you are dating, that will obviously cause problems in the relationship or marriage. Besides, wouldn't you rather find out the problem points sooner than later? It's goes for both genders, so I don't subscribe to a "double standard". And no, I would not date a woman with kids, unless I were a widower with kids. Equal yoking. I might make an exception for a female virgin who either adopted kids or is caring for orphaned kids of deceased relatives; these two situations are in my book an act of mercy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicAndFanatical Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 no an act of mercy would be to accept the person for who they are, regardless of their past. This is the shallow and non Cathoilc part that I talk about. Acceptance of another despite the past. So what if they made a mistake? Things happen and thats life. Not everyone gets to be raised as a Religious. Not everyone gets to be good little Catholics growing up, some actually join the Catholic Church later in life and become more educated on the Church than cradle Catholics. Some people grow up in non religious environments, so does that mean they are less of a person because of this? I venture to say single parents sacrifice more in life than single people do. I also venture to say that single parents receive more graces because of the sacrifices they make on a daily basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 (edited) [quote name='ReinnieR' date='May 18 2005, 11:50 AM'] oh ok. a friend of mine is dating a priest. i don't know if they're gonna get married or not. [/quote] Dating a priest, or a priest dating, is wrong. Period. The Priest has already made is vows before God and cannot marry. It is like a married man "dating" a woman not his wife. If this man is not seriously committed to his priestly vocation, he should have "dropped out" before being ordained. Edited May 18, 2005 by Socrates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote name='CatholicAndFanatical' date='May 18 2005, 12:26 PM'] no an act of mercy would be to accept the person for who they are, regardless of their past. This is the shallow and non Cathoilc part that I talk about. Acceptance of another despite the past. So what if they made a mistake? Things happen and thats life. Not everyone gets to be raised as a Religious. Not everyone gets to be good little Catholics growing up, some actually join the Catholic Church later in life and become more educated on the Church than cradle Catholics. Some people grow up in non religious environments, so does that mean they are less of a person because of this? I venture to say single parents sacrifice more in life than single people do. I also venture to say that single parents receive more graces because of the sacrifices they make on a daily basis. [/quote] No offense, but considering your past, you have not earned the right to tell me that. I lost my family before getting into high school and pretty much had to raise myself. If after all this you are going to fault me for wanting the small comfort of being equally yoked to a fellow virgin, then it is YOU who are acting in a non-Catholic and non-merciful manner. Contrary to popular opinion, not everyone has a past, if you get what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote name='ReinnieR' date='May 18 2005, 12:50 PM'] oh ok. a friend of mine is dating a priest. i don't know if they're gonna get married or not. [/quote] He's a Catholic priest? That's a no no...a big one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicAndFanatical Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote] No offense, but considering your past, you have not earned the right to tell me that. [/quote] And what past was this again? I dont remember telling you much about my past except the basic stuff. And what shouldnt I tell you? That disrespecting of a human being because she made a mistake in the past is not Christ-like? Sorry I'll try to beat around the bush next time when speaking honestly. I dont see how I could possibly be non merciful when I accept anyone, single parent or no. Single women who have kids deserve just as much respect as the next woman and there is nothing you can say to change that. Sure its okay for you, as a virgin, want only another virgin. Totally makes sense. But you need to realize that not everyone could be so lucky. Have you ever heard of someone becoming 'reviriginized'? We'll its possible when someone lives a chaste life, whether they have kids or not, and turns their live to God and being the best father or mother they can. [quote] If after all this you are going to fault me for wanting the small comfort of being equally yoked to a fellow virgin [/quote] Again, im not the one faulting anyone, remember im the one accepting of anyone person. All im saying is its okay if someone doesnt want to go on a date with me because I have kids...but for the Love of God Almighty dont send me a message saying you wont go out with me because I have kids.. how is that suppose to make someone feel? When I speak of not being very Catholic im speaking about saying something that would hurt anothers feelings without even caring. Do you think I wanted to hear about her not wanting to go out with me?? Do you think I cared? What was the purpose of her telling me that? Nothing..it was uncaring and un Christ like. My opinion, im sticking to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fides_et_Ratio Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 Ermm, wow, this thread is getting a little heated. Keep it cool, everyone and remember that other people have feelings even though we can't see them because this is a computer. That said, a friend and I had a discussion about this very thing (marrying a non-virgin). She said she was afraid she'd have to because it doesn't seem like there are many non-virgins left (she's Protestant, barely, and definitely not Catholic) and so (I have no idea how this follows) she was thinking of not waiting until she was married anymore because she'd want to be "happy", and wouldn't want to be the "inexperienced" one. I, however, respectfully, but vehmently disagreed about not waiting until marriage, but said that I would rather marry a virgin if I had the choice, but at the same time, not everyone was born into a good Christian family. Some people became Christians later in life and as such had to adjust their lives. The real test is what they've done since they "became a Christian". In the case of a non-virgin who had children... are they a good parent? What's their relationship to the other parent? etc? Some things are like bonuses.. you'd know their parenting style before you had a child. Other things, would take getting used to. I know I'd always be afraid that I'd be compared to the other partners... but that's why communication and discussion is so important in a relationship. Our past shapes us into who we are (how we react to certain situations, what we've done with our circumstances, etc.). When you love someone, you love the whole person. I can't say for sure how I'd act either way. I would be turned off at first, and afraid, but as I said, communication and discussion are gravely important to a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReinnieR Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote name='Raphael' date='May 18 2005, 12:43 PM'] He's a Catholic priest? That's a no no...a big one... [/quote] yeah a catholic priest. i feel like i shouldn't say anything to her though because it's not my business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote name='ReinnieR' date='May 18 2005, 02:58 PM'] yeah a catholic priest. i feel like i shouldn't say anything to her though because it's not my business. [/quote] It's most certainly your business. Any priest of our Church who is not following his vows is the business of the faithful, not to see him condemned, but to bring him to light. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReinnieR Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote name='Raphael' date='May 18 2005, 02:00 PM'] It's most certainly your business. Any priest of our Church who is not following his vows is the business of the faithful, not to see him condemned, but to bring him to light. [/quote] true. but what am i gonna say though "what you're doing is wrong and i think you should stop dating him"??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 (edited) [quote] Ermm, wow, this thread is getting a little heated. Keep it cool, everyone and remember that other people have feelings even though we can't see them because this is a computer. [/quote] You think this is bad? You should try being in a broken elevator full of virgins and non virgins!! Whew, that's two hours of my life I won't get back! The discourse so far has been interesting. The girls want to talk about "good men and where are they" The men are talking about virgins vs non virgins. So (and to be clear I'm a guy. The avatar is Katie Couric) here's a guy's perspective on where all the good men are. There are none. Well now that we've cleared that up let's get back to this whole "virgin/ non virgin" thing! On second thought, I'm having elevator flashbacks so let's stick with the topic of men. I've stated that there are no good men (including me). Why? Is it because we are the inferior gender? (well that's a good point) Is it because we obsess about virgins v non virgins? (really that only pertains to this thread) Perhaps some women (and men too) can't find a good man (or woman) because of the criteria they've set up. They have to be Catholic They have to be a virgin They have to never talk to other women They have to be sensitive They have to be a real man They have to be a hottie (Ok I'm out) They have to love kids They have to hate kids They have to have been a kid at one point They have to want to get married They have to not pressure me all the time to get married They have to love professional wrestling They have to be a professional wrestler I'm not saying that criteria is not important. I'm saying that whatever conditions we put on who "the ideal spouse" should be, the more we put conditions on God. I love the advice for finding a girlfriend or boyfriend "You'll find her when you aren't even looking" "How do you expect to find someone if you don't put yourself out there?" Most of the advice is always diametrically opposed. Usually from the same person. I really don't have anything to add per se. Just felt like a good place to rant!!! Edited May 18, 2005 by jaime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 men are silly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 [quote name='rachael' date='May 18 2005, 03:35 PM'] men are silly [/quote] No, men are goofy. Women are silly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 IN THE BEGINNING God created man He then incorporated the upgrades into version 2.0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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